..Blue Wednesday..

'Monday Blues' doesn't exist only on Monday. But it happens to be on EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I've gone through a different kinda experience in life last night. What happen was, I was told by Pam that there's a confession session, which is the last day for yesterday. I was thinking, should I or should I not go. Since I think that I had TOO MUCH sins in life, so I should be going. That was around 1730hrs. At 18hrs, my mobile rang. It was a call from my boss. 'You gotto stay hold back tonight to do some stuff as we need it to be done by end of tomorrow(which is today!)". I was like, 'Okay, but after church & pick up my sis from tuition'.

Since I thought there's too much to do, I texted Pam and inform her I won't be going for the confession. Yet, my heart is eager to go. Minutes passed and I texted Pam, I've changed my mind, and I wanted to go. And so after sending my sis to tuition, we went to church. As usual, a lot of people were waiting for their turns. Well, obviously to do sins are easy and yet to confess is such a burden on the shoulder. I was so nervous at the first place. VERY. I compiled all my sins through out the pass 2 years since my last. Roughly, at 2120hrs, its my turn.

Sign of the cross, revealing all my sins, which I think I only mentioned 4 of it, it stops there. Silent. Father was asking 'Your marriage is not blessed by the church YET?'. I nodded. 'Not blessed?' again he asked. I nodded with a 'Yes, Father'. Without prior notice, Father told me 'You are not supposed to do this confession nor taking the Holy Communion'. I paused, and I asked, 'Oh ya? Really?'. And now his turn to nod his head and say 'Yes'. 'Your marriage is not blessed, so you can't come here for confession'. Guess how I felt that time? All the clouds, skies, stars, moon up there fell on my shoulder! I was so suprised!

And so the Father said, 'I will give you my blessing'. After the sign of the cross, which signals that its the end of the session, I was thinking, 'Where's my penance?'. 'Oh ya, I was not accepted for this time'. Walking out from the church without any prayer an just a 'Thank You, Lord' was so awkward! It seems like I am the top most horrible sinner in there.

2012 is our 7th years of marriage. And it was not blessed. Was wondering why I still not giving birth to my own child. Now I see why.

What is the meaning of all this?